Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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