went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
