The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
