In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
