So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
