i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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