Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
