weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
