quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
