I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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