So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
