dude i'm inner monologue high
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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