i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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