how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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