Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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