she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
