I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
