So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize