Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize