I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.