You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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