my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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