I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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