I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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