I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
