that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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