So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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