So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
