Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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