even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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