just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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