just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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