In the future we'll all be gay
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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