Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Found the puke drawer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
