Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
