Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
