Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
