it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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