i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
