I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize