I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
