She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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