Me too!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
