Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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