I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
