4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
