My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
