dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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