Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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