Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
