i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
