Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
