every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just gargled with NyQuil
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
