i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?