Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet