dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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