How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's