Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha