is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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