very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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