she takes plan B like it's going out of style
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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