chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
