WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
