I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
