If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
