if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
